


Wake Me Up

by posingasme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse Off the Rails, Demonic Possession, F/M, Gen, Smoking, Stanford Student Sam Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posingasme/pseuds/posingasme
Summary: Sam is a top student and a swimmer on scholarship at Stanford. He had everything not long ago. But now he cannot understand why his perfect relationship with Jessica has abruptly gone very, very bad. Everyone around him knows she's an evil bitch. Even he knows he should walk away, to end the downward spiral. But some force keeps him tied to her, no matter what, and he knows there is no escape for him.
Relationships: Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 12





	Wake Me Up

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for allusions to suicide.

Sam sighed. He and Jessica were fighting again. “Jess, let me talk.”

“No. You never listen to me.”

“You were with him again?”

She lit her cigarette and took a puff. “Yeah,” she said cooly, blowing smoke into his face.

Sam closed his eyes. “Jess, could you put that out please? I hate that you smoke.”

“No. That’s another thing. I’ll smoke whenever I feel like it. I don’t need your permission to do anything.”

“I didn’t say...Jess, why do you do this to me?”

“You only get what you deserve.”

He stared at the ground. “I gotta go. My brother is coming by today, and I need to…” He didn’t bother finishing, which was just as well. She wasn’t listening anyway.

“You’d better be there on Saturday.”

“Jess, you know I have a meet that day! If I miss it, Coach will throw me off the team!”

She smiled, and put her cigarette out on the sidewalk and stamped it out with her black stiletto heel. “Well, that’s a shame. Miss the tournament, and you’re off the team. Miss my show, and we’re through.”

“Jess-”

“See you then.” She collected her purse and cigarettes, and walked away with a switch in her stride. Poor Sam was helpless behind her.

“Jess!”

She turned to look across the dell. “Hey, Nancy! Where have you been?”

The small, mousey girl with dark hair jogged to catch up with her. “You were talking to Sam just now.”

“Hm,” she purred noncommittally. Her mind was already wandering to her next performance.

“I’ll never understand you, you know that? Sam is such a sweetheart. Any girl would love to be in your shoes.”

“Most girls can’t afford my shoes,” she retorted absently.

“You string him along like he’s nothing, blow smoke in his face till he can’t stand it. I don’t get you!”

She turned her icy green glare on the tagalong. “Nobody gets me, Nance. Not even Sam. I’m not anybody’s to have.”

She shook her head. “Everyone loves Sam except his girlfriend. It’s just...sad.”

“Well, next time I need advice from a cute little virgin, I’ll ask for it. Goodbye now.” She blew the girl a kiss, and relished the blush and dropped jaw before continuing on her way. The pleasure allowed her eyes to flash black for just an instant.

Andy was dropping into Jessica’s abandoned seat at that moment, across from Sam, whose head was in his palms. “Hey. Bad day?”

“Jess.”

“Ah.” It was really all that needed to be said.

“I try so hard to be enough for her. Why can’t I be the only one she needs? What is it that she needs that she can’t get from me? What makes her go to someone else?”

The young man sighed. “I don’t know, man. I tried getting her to tell me the truth once, but she's immune to my charm. Probably because she's got bitch-grade armor.”

“I just don’t understand what I’m not doing! We used to be happy. And what am I going to do about Saturday? I love her, Andy, I really do. But I’ve also got to keep my scholarship! If I miss this meet...I-I don’t know what to do, man!”

He smiled sadly. “Go to your swim meet, Sam. You have to.”

“No!” He looked horrified. “If I do...Jess says we’re through if I don’t go to this show! I can’t...I don’t think I can live without her after all this time!”

Andy shook his head in silence.

Meg was wandering through the dell, and noticed them sitting at the table outside the cafe. She smirked at them. “What happened now?” she demanded, as she made herself comfortable perched on the table.

“Jess was with another guy,” Andy supplied tonelessly.

Meg cringed. “Shit. Who?”

“Who do you think? Brady. Tyson freaking Brady. God, we used to be good friends! How can he do this to me? Is it his money? Is that it? I can’t compete with that! How do I make her stay?”

“Send her to obedience school,” Meg muttered.

He snorted. “You know, I do a lot better with dogs. I should just give up on women.”

Andy snickered.

“You know you can't give her up. I’ll see you at her show on Saturday, won't I?”

Sam’s forehead dropped all the way down to the table, and Meg lifted her eyebrows at Andy, who was cringing. “You’re going to her concert?”

Meg laughed. “Sure! I mean...she’s a bitch, don’t get me wrong. But she’s hot as hell. And the music’s got a dope beat. Don’t judge me.”

“I’m judging you,” Andy confirmed, as their friend slid off the table and continued on her way toward the cafe.

The woman gestured back at him crudely.

Sam sighed.

Back at the apartment later, Dean was less than impressed with the story of the day. “Quit sulking, and pay attention to what you’re doing before you burn yourself.”

“I’m not sulking. I’m thinking.”

“Well, stop it.”

He smiled. “That’s the first time anyone’s ever told me not to think.”

“You think too much, if that’s what you call it. I still say it looks a lot like sulking.”

Sam sat down, and Dean took over the dinner. “Man, why do Jess and I have to fight so much?”

“Lisa and I fought the day Ben was born.”

“He keeps you two together, anyway.”

Dean shrugged. “For better or for worse. I just hope he doesn’t end up like me.”

“Let’s all hope.”

The lock clicked, and the door to the apartment opened, revealing Jessica’s beautiful face. “Sam,” she said without pretense, “I want to see you alone.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Anything you have to say, you can yell at me in front of my brother. He needs some entertainment. Go ahead.”

Dean snorted, and continued fixing dinner.

“You’ve been whining to your little friends about me. Is this how your father treated your mother? How your brother treats Lisa?” She sneered at the older man. “Well. Maybe Lisa.”

Two sets of green eyes locked in loathing, but Dean did not respond.

“Don’t talk to me about my parents. You’ve got no right.”

Jessica lifted a manicured eyebrow. “No right? Who has spent the last two years listening to all your sob stories?”

Sam flinched, and closed his eyes. “Don’t do that. You were with me through my father’s death, through all of it. You’ve been my rock, Jess! I don’t understand what’s changed. Remember my freshman year, when I refused to get close to anyone because I had been hurt so many times? I’m finally able to reach out, and for the first time, you’re turning me away!”

“I’m done with this, Sam. I loved you, but it just isn’t worth it anymore.”

Dean was frowning severely in Sam’s periphery, but tears were beginning to cloud Sam’s vision anyway. “No! Jess, please, no!”

“I’ll send Brady over for my things.”

“Jess, what’ve I done to make you leave me? Tell me what to do! I’ll do anything!”

“Sam,” Dean croaked out.

“Anything you tell me!” he continued desperately.

But Jessica shook her head. “No. It’s not your fault, Sam. You just can’t be what I need. We can’t be what we once were. I’m tired of pretending.” She turned on her heel, and walked away from him for the second time that day, this time right in front of his big brother.

There was silence in the apartment after the tornado had blown out. Sam looked around helplessly, as if surveying the damage only he could see. Shock was chilling him everywhere. At last, he looked up into the eyes of his angry big brother, and gave a sob.

Dean crossed the room and wrapped his arms around him tightly. “I got you.”

“I don’t understand!” he cried out. “It wasn’t like this! It was never like this! She was so-so sweet and...God, Dean! I’m supposed to be some kind of genius. That’s what people keep telling me. Top of my class, always. So why can’t I figure out how to keep her?”

He knew Dean hated the weakness in his brother’s voice, but he spoke through gritted teeth. “You’re smart, Sam. But this thing with Jess? It’s been stupid for a long time. I know it didn’t used to be this way. It’s this way now. So when she tries to climb back into your bed, like she always does, you’ve got to say no this time.”

“I can’t. I’ll never be able to stand up to her! Dean, you don’t know what this feels like! It’s like she’s got some power over me, some way of keeping me tangled even when I know it’s wrong!”

Dean sighed heavily. “That’s love, Sam.”

“It’s more than that! I can’t-I can’t explain it! There’s something about her that I need. I don’t know why! Maybe...maybe it’s the same thing that kept Dad pining for Mom after all those years.”

“Don’t talk about Mom that way. She was never like Jess.” There was a bit of a growl to his voice now.

Sam took a deep breath, and controlled his sobs as well as he could. “I know. I didn’t mean it like that. I meant...I meant there’s something tying me to her, and it isn’t just love. I think I understand Dad better now than I ever did. God, Dean, I’m never going to be able to say no to her. Not so long as we’re both alive.”

Dean released him and stepped back. “Sammy, you can’t do this to yourself. Look. I gotta get back to Lisa and Ben. Why don’t you come with me? No point in staying here and staring at the wall.”

“No. I want to be here. Alone.”

“Fine. Dinner’s ready. Want me to plate it or just wrap it for another time?”

“Put it away for now. I’m not hungry.”

“Of course you aren’t.”

“Thanks for coming, man. I’m just going to go to bed. I’m done with today. Lock the door behind you.”

He could hear Dean muttering to himself, but he shut the bedroom door behind him, and after a few minutes, he could hear the front door closing behind Dean. He knew his brother was angry. He was probably fantasizing about putting a knife through Jessica’s heart, or trying to smack Sam out of this cycle of depression and desperation. But he had been admirably well-behaved under the circumstances.

Sam stared up at the ceiling from his bed. Somewhere outside the apartment building, someone was smoking cigarettes. He could smell it through a cracked window. He hated the smell. It wasn’t until Jessica had started smoking suddenly that he had realized how much he hated the smell.

Dean was wrong. This wasn’t just love. This was something darker, something inescapable. Jessica had left him, but she would be back. She would always be back. There was no doubt in his mind that the drama and pain was never going to let him free.

“Not so long as we’re both alive,” he whispered to himself. He closed his eyes, and considered his dismal options.

Night was a long time coming, and morning never came at all.

***

Jessica’s demon smiled at Brady’s smugly. “I’ve done well. I'm awesome.”

He nodded. “You are. We’ve put everything back as it should be. Dean will do as he must do, and sell his soul for the King’s life. Everything will be back on track.”

“But Lisa and Ben-”

“Leave them to me. When I have Meg go whispering in their ears that Ben is not Dean’s son, the Righteous Man will give in to his grief and deal for his brother’s life. I’ll handle the negotiation myself. Give him a year to get his affairs in order for his family.”

“He’ll take the deal?”

“When I sow doubt among them with Meg’s silver, forked tongue, he will remember that he can trust only his brother with his heart. I’ll seal it by convincing him it is the only way to keep Lisa and Ben safe. If even that doesn’t work, I’ll kill them both, leaving him with nothing to lose.”

Jessica’s demon sneered. “Might have been nice to sleep with him one last time. Not every demon can say they’ve slept with the Vessel.”

Brady’s demon snorted at this. “Enough, Ruby. You’ll get another chance, under very, very different circumstances. Go now to Lilith. She’s commanding your presence. She has work for you.”

She grinned. “No rest for the wicked,” she chirped, and blew him a kiss before snapping away on her next assignment.


End file.
